Friday

Friday night signup in the Rose and Crown, populated by a stunning number of Nottingham 'pikeys', went surprisingly well despite the mind numbingly loud music from DJ Disco Dave. Finally, he ran out of disco juice allowing us to escape to the student friendly Ropewalk Bar clad in the finest of Pondlife T-shirts. Most survived the journey despite the Southampton crew who went searching for a non-existent house party. The rest was a blur but everyone was safely housed by morning.

Saturday

Bellys full of bacon sandwiches and all begins well, BUT WAIT! Pikeys strike back and smash their way into Bella's car before remembering that they were too stupid to steal it. A big sorry to Bella on that one! This was quickly followed up by massive traffic diversions and misadventures in Melton Mobray which led to severe lateness.

By twelve everyone had arrived and a modest breeze allowed beginner and intermediate racing led by four notts blonde beauties Clare, Anna, Laura and Dan. There was plenty of advanced freesailing on the fantastic Tushingham-Starboard and Boardwise demo kit, cheers Paul, Amy and Mark.

(Thank you Charlie [Leeds] for beginner instruction, despite your fake neoprene six-pack.)

Pondlife: The Party

Hmmm, what can be said? once again all began swimmingly (pardon the pun) with pizzas for all and wicked costumes of vegetables, bubble wrap, balloons, paddling pools and lots and lots of green! Then the Funnellers struck. Wielded by Morsey and Newts this devastating weapon caused carnage leading to fire alarms, ceramic duck hockey and paddling pool sumo wrestling. Matters were made worse by Sam and Andy abusing the bar manager until beer prices were reduced eventually culminating into an unnamed individual being catapulted into the DJ by a rogue paddling pool. After much apologising and agreement about the poor state of students today, the tunes began to flow once more.

Injuries:

• Newton severely bruised by low flying projectile ducks
• Postbundle-Knockedout-Random saved by Morsey who promptly dropped him Simpson?s style twice on the way outside. 
• Extreme cold victim from Southampton being taken to casualty after attempting to walk home barefoot in a nightie.
• A certain Mr J.Potten is sick on the dance floor (sorry notts girls) after being centrifugally slammed into multiple partygoers  on his chair at the end of a rubber paddling pool by a Mr Beaker purporting to be frogs-porn.
• The paddling pool has it's revenge as Beaker hits the floor cheekbone first and is knocked out. (Cheers to the notts 1st-aiders for administering coors beer until he came round!) Unfortunatly it has been disovered that he will never be able to sing to McFly as loud as previously. (That's a blessing isn't it....- ed) 

Night Porter's comments:

"In Thirty years I've never seen a mess worse than this. You know that the TaeKwonDo club have to train here tomorrow barefoot."

Sunday

The return of bacon sandwiches and un-showered Greenies (whose idea was it to use permanent green body paint and where the hell did they get it??-ed) to Rutland Water Caf' elped ease hangovers for all. All had assembled by eleven on the Sunday morning for a day of beginner tuition, intermediate freesailing and advanced freestlye and racing. The wind picked up through the day allowing some great advanced competitions. Thanks to Jack (Notts) for the beginner tuition and abuse on the loudhailer. The day was capped off with a Sheep chasing Techno masterblast/mud bath proudly won by Henry 'richrock-evans' (Cambridge) although Welsh Matt (Cardiff) complained the race was unfair as the sheep knew he was coming...

Thanks to Tushingham/Starboard and Boardwise for their great prizes.  And of course thanks to all the SWA event sponsors.

Congratulations to all who competed.